You're Beautiful

Not the James Blunt song, but the Korean drama that shi-chan has deceptively suckered me into watching (shi-chan 23, ha-san 5). I'm at episode 15, and (im)patiently waiting for the rest of the episodes to be subbed so that I can plow through them.

Doesn't help that all the characters are so frustratingly stereotypical, BUT I still like them. I guess I like stereotypical people. lol.

All those who don't know what You're Beautiful is, take some initiative and find out what it is on google. and watch the first episode. and the second. actually, just watch the whole thing. :P I won't guarantee that you'll like it, but I'm sure it'll trigger lots of hearts from fangirls (such as myself).

Gosh, how much I like Jeremy... XDXD

shi-chan, shuddup. -_-...

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Today marks the first day of my holidays, and i'm utterly stoked. and not really sure what i'm supposed to do. oh well. i guess one of them is actually cleaning the house.

i think i can. i think i can. i know i can. i know i can.

it's amazing how much junk has accumulated after just 1 year of residence.

Too independent

I shared with my this week that this year, I've learnt to be independent, but at the same time, have forgotten what it means to rely on God's grace and mercy to bring me through every day and counting His blessings in my life.

I guess it's hard to count blessings after going through really hard times that I sometimes wondered whether I would go through it without resorting to doing things I despise. But that in itself is a blessing, isn't it?

It's also hard to think of the good things when all I see are the bad. Sydney is now considered to be a figment of my imagination, I've been so caught up in this rut that I simply CANNOT believe that I actually was SO CLOSE to God that I could sense His presence everywhere I went, could hear His voice and have nice conversations with Him. So caught up with all the hatred, the discontent, the feeling of "why am I still here". It's really hard to remember the good times.

Hard to get the engine started when it's gone cold. But it can still be done, right?

It's tiring to just rely on cognitively knowing that God is real. My heart needs to be reminded again. Needs to be jumpstarted once again.

Remember my first love.

Weee. I'm an Engrish Genus

Your result for The Commonly Confused Words Test ...

English Genius

You scored 100% Beginner, 86% Intermediate, 93% Advanced, and 80% Expert!

You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go!

Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!

Take the test HERE

say hi to forever... well, not yet

Today, I read an online article about a 20-year-old model, Daul Kim, who was found dead in her apartment yesterday. Now, I'm not a follower of fashion, so I don't know who she is, but I really send my condolences to her friends and family who are obviously grieved and shocked at what had happened.

I know the police have not found the cause of death yet, but I just want to make a general announcement and call out to all you young punks out there: Suicide isn't actually the same as a person who died from a long fight with cancer, or was knocked down by a truck while trying to save a child's life.

Why? Because it's the most fucking stupid way to die (mind the language).

I won't go into the details, but it's really something close to my heart. I hate what suicide does to a family. I hate what it does to friends. I hate how it just gets "pegged" onto the people that are closest to them, such that it becomes a family curse. One can always be positive and bullshit their way into believing that "it will be alright". To those people, I say only one thing: You obviously have not experienced a death of a close one due to suicide, have you?

There's a certain indescribable feeling that can only be experienced by those who have experienced such a thing to a family member, or have had a close encounter with it before, whenever the word "suicide" is mentioned. The sick gut feeling, the urge to just turn away and/or scream.

Therapy can do all it can, but there's a reason why they call it "scars". Yes, the feelings that were related to the incident will fade away. Mine did. The fear and horror of the memories past will fade too. Mine did. But the thought and fear that it might happen to you someday because someone in your family decided to foolishly attempt it will never EVER go away.

As I've said before, cognitively knowing something is entirely different to something that your heart/gut feels. Suicide warps the gut feelings in a really bad way and it will take more than just therapy and positive thinking to "cure" it.

So to those who are tempted to attempt suicide any time in the future, you better not do it. Think about how your parents/siblings/children/friends will feel. I can guarantee you that they won't feel happy. At all.

Of relaxing days, shopping and holidays

Today, everyone in my class had the look of "why am I in school today?" on their faces when they entered the classroom for an 8:30 lesson that will most likely not really affect our teaching career in the long run. Or maybe it will. I don't know. I wasn't really paying attention because my brain was still trying to wake up from 2 days of doing absolutely nothing meaningful and productive (other than washing the toilets).

In fact, the only three things I could think about throughout the whole of today were: 1) Hong Kong trip, 2) Playing PS3, and 3) the music day camp next Monday and Tuesday.

Actually quite productive... I guess.

Less than 2 weeks more to me going to HK for a week!!! Can't wait. The last time I was there was in sec sch, and I barely remember the place. Hopefully, i will be able to find free wifi spots so that i can upload and update statuses on twitter. @_@ don't think i can survive 7 days without internet. 2 was bad enough. XD

Next week, i'll be getting my new phone. Returning to the LG, after realising that the only two brands that I actually like using are LG and Sony Ericsson (some others would beg to differ, but to them I say "I'm you meh?"). Can't wait, because it'll be the first time I'm using a touchscreen phone (i exclude the iPhone because I don't actually consider THAT a phone).

2012, Aussie accents and no school

It's 1:59pm and my brain's still barely awake. Because I slept at 2am, and woke up at *gasp* 1:30pm! First time I actually managed to sleep (actually more like forced myself to sleep) past noon. I feel a sense of achievement.

Yesterday, caught up with "daddy" Vern, Lily, Jin & Stuart, and it was a whole lot of fun. Seeing Vern after 1 year ++ was definitely different, but at the same time, as if nothing as changed much. My Aussie "accent" started to unfold once again, after the realisation that Vern was completely immersed (wahahha. he pronounced "Dim Sum" totally Aussie!) in the culture.

Watched 2012 too. EPIC EPIC EPIC movie. good CG effect, but typical ending I guess. Just think of Noah's Ark... but in modern terms. nonetheless, EPIC. Halfway through the movie, I started to believe that the world's actually going to end in 2012. Maybe I should heed shi-chan's advice and get married soon. lolz.